


Baby Jones (Or, Why PriffyViole Doesn't Eat Danish Right Before Bed)

by PriffyViole



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Gen, Technically a Death Fic, baby Jones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-03-16
Packaged: 2018-10-05 21:55:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10317812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PriffyViole/pseuds/PriffyViole
Summary: Michael and Lindsay bring their baby to the Achievement Hunter office, but things get strange when the baby starts acting eerily similar to a dead co-worker...





	

It had been a few months since Ryan had suddenly passed. It was Achievement Hunter's first day back at work since, and a lot of them weren't sure they were ready. Even Geoff and Lindsay wondered if they'd given everyone enough time. But the backlog had run itself dry, and they knew they'd have to get back to it soon.

As an emergency protocol, Michael and Lindsay decided to bring their baby in to help raise everyone's spirits. Pun not remotely intended.

It seemed to be working, if only because it helped them turn away from the subject of their departed comrade. At least until they heard something odd.

"Guys!"

The Hunters collectively jumped...Except for Geoff, who, not really paying attention, asked, "Did you say something, Jack?"

Jack, very unsettled because that voice could only belong to one person, replied with an unsteady "...No..."

"There's gotta be a tape somewhere," Jeremy reasoned. He began to search the room. "There's no way..."

"It's not a tape! It's really me!"

"Is Ryan trying to prank us from beyond the grave?" Gavin asked, trying to keep his cool.

"Whatever's going on, it's not fucking funny," Michael muttered audibly.

"I'm not trying to be funny! I'm really here!"

By now everyone was searching for the source of Ryan's seemingly disembodied voice. It seemed there was only one conclusion, as unlikely as it was: His voice was coming from the baby in Lindsay's arms.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Okay, Michael, where's the camera?" Jeremy questioned.

"Cam- THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN, 'WHERE'S THE CAMERA!?' YOU THINK I COULD JUST MAKE THIS SHIT UP!?!? WH- You think I just told Ryan's fucking ghost to come and just- _possess_ my own goddamn DAUGHTER for a FUCKING JOKE!?!?"

"That _would_ be a pretty dickish thing to do to your kid," Geoff replied.

"...I kinda feel bad I said anything now," Ryan admitted, thinking of his own family.

"You know what we should do? We should have him prove that he's really Ryan," Gavin suggested.

"Fine, what do you want me to do?"

"What's your name?"

Ryan looked as confused as a baby's face could manage. "...Ryan...?"

"Yes, but what's your _real_ name?" Gavin countered.

"James Ryan Haywood."

"Now what's your wife's name?"

"Laurie."

."How many Edgars are there?" Jeremy threw out.

"As many as I need there to be."

"Stupidsaywhat?" Lindsay asked.

"What?" Ryan absentmindedly replied. After a moment of being laughed at, he added, "Oh, goddamn it! I knew you were gonna make me do something stupid!"

"That's him," Jeremy smirked.

"But seriously, Ryan," Geoff started, after managing to calm down, "if that really is you in there, then you should know how you died, right?"

"Well...I really can't say I know. I...kind of just went to sleep one night and woke up as a baby."

"Yeah, speaking of?" Michael interjected, trying to keep himself calm. "As much as we all missed you, I'm _kinda_ going to need you to get out of my kid's body."

"Yeah...about that...I don't know if I _can_ ," Ryan admitted. "I've...actually been like this the whole time."

"What!?"

"How do you not notice for months that your own kid has Ryan's voice?!?" Gavin asked, flummoxed.

"He didn't even say anything until now!"

"I can confirm that," Lindsay added.

"I was biding my time! Hey, nobody's going to believe I'm really here if I only reveal myself to one person at a time. That's why I waited for all of you."

"So what are we supposed to tell your family?"

Ryan hesitated at Jack's question. "...Don't tell them anything. Don't even let it leave this room. I can hurt you, you know. Babies are strong!"

~~~~~~~~~~

The day was over, and Michael had the honors of carrying...Carrying Ryan out. Deep down, he kind of hated the sound of it. A part of himself almost wished that he wouldn't have to hear from him again. But if Ryan was telling the truth, neither one of them could do anything about it. They and Lindsay were all stuck in their awkward roles for God knows how long. But when it came down to it, they were friends, and Ryan needed him more than ever.

"Hey, Michael?" He almost didn't hear Ryan speak over his own thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"Um...Thanks for taking care of me all this time."

"...No problem."

**Author's Note:**

> Ryan finally got Lindsay's milk! Though not in the way he intended.
> 
> Apologies if people go OOC, it is 1:30 in the morning as I finish this fic and I'm running out of think power.
> 
> Anyways, this is based on a dream I had after I stayed home sick from work. Very loosely. Enough for me to post DELETED SCENES WOOOOOOO
> 
> *In the original dream the baby explicitly looked like Ryan's GTA character (sans makeup). Despite this and having Ryan's voice nobody put it together that it was him, to his chagrin.
> 
> *I also dreamed it either right before or right after the baby was revealed to be a girl. I honestly don't remember.
> 
> *When I first thought of additional story parts I thought of an alternate ending where Gavin and Jeremy discuss how they're totally going to tell everyone. I rewrote it due to things going badly for everyone involved.
> 
> *In the original dream everybody assumed that either Michael or Lindsay told the baby about Ryan, including each other, and that's how he knew about himself. This was almost referenced in the fic, but that would require that they somehow didn't notice Ryan's voice.
> 
> *This almost happened but I couldn't fit it in:  
> Ryan: Can I have my job back  
> Geoff: Even if it's you I can't legally hire a baby  
> Ryan: Touche
> 
> *The thing that convinced everyone the baby was Ryan was originally the Ctrl+Shift+Esc trick Gavin taught him.
> 
> *Mica was almost in this fic but I forgot.
> 
> *I nearly forgot Jack as well. His second line was originally Geoff's.
> 
> *There was an aside about Ray flying in for the funeral but it wasn't necessary to the plot. It's still technically Canon.
> 
> *Ryan's actual cause of death was originally important enough to be mentioned.


End file.
